Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Deployment Preparation Reading: Separated By Duty

image via Amazon

I have talked a lot here about reading the deployment literature. Separated By Duty, United In Love by Shelly Vandevoorde is one of the books I purchased near the beginning of deployment that I read in the first few weeks my husband was gone. I often read it in bed at night and it was a great distraction from the loneliness  It was definitely a comfort to have this book to turn to, to feel like someone knew what I was going through and could show me the way forward.

The introduction to this book puts the military relationship into clear perspective. It's not always going to be fair or easy. The author, Shelly Vandevoorde asks the reader to consider their part in the relationship, what they agreed to and what they can do to make the relationship a success. 

I appreciated seeing topics the author covered that were actual things that were running around in my head. I love that she talked about the survival games we play in our heads that affect our relationships. Vandovoorde also writes about things like finances, making those decisions we don't want to think about, homecoming and the real challenges of long-distance in a military relationship. She writes with candor and truthfulness that seems to allow us as readers to accept the hard things that might come, but to know that it's okay to feel fear or worry. Then she gives readers the tools to face what needs to happen to keep us strong and healthy and shows us how to travel this journey with grace.

There is no white-washing or putting lipstick on a pig in this book. Vandevoorde speaks very candidly and the reader is better for that. Good to know what challenges you may face, how you might feel and how to move forward. Written with a realistic but supportive and encouraging voice, this book is a great one for the military spouse or significant other's bookshelf.

Okay, your turn? What books did you read and what would you recommend? Please share, I know there are quite a few significant others and spouses who are beginning deployment this summer. Let's arm them with the equipment they need to start strong and thrive!


  1. I never knew about this book, I will have to check it out. :)

  2. Countdown 'til Daddy Comes Home is a great book to help families prepare for deployment. There is a section of discussion questions to help alleviate your kids fears and suggestions on different ways to countdown.


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