Often when we are going about our day I think, this is a Reintegration issue, I should blog about this. Based on what I've read and seen in person, I strongly believe everyone going through Reintegration goes through some very similar experiences. I will say that I think my husband and are family are handling things pretty well, and I've been very proud of us. But I do feel strongly that no one is sailing through Reintegration.
I thought I would share one challenge that keeps coming up over and over again. This might sound strange but for some reason ordering from a menu in a noisy restaurant just becomes too overwhelming for my husband lately. All the pages and pages of choices, someone standing over or in front of him asking him for a decision, lots of people around and loud background music have turned out to be a real problem, again and again. I am sure just having difficulty with something as simple as ordering food has to be very frustrating for him.
I am learning in several key facets that keeping things very peaceful, quiet and simple are vital to keeping him feeling calm. We have had a few times where he just had to leave the restaurant completely or didn't order anything while the rest of us ate. We have been away from home a good bit this summer, so cooking meals for him and staying home have not been an option unfortunately. I am trying to learn how to keep this situation as simple as possible going forward. Maybe talking to him about what he wants for dinner before hand or if I just quickly pick something for myself then can talk to him and help him decide - maybe those things might help.
If there's one lesson I've learned again and again it's that if I get agitated when he's agitated it is not good. So I really am trying harder and harder to stay very calm, speak very mildly and not talk too much.
How about you? Did you experience challenges when going out to eat? How did you handle it?