Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I Want To Be A Military Grade Wife

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Today I have to pass along a link to this fantastic article from SpouseBuzz yesterday by Kim Kapacziewski titled What I Learned About True Love From A Wounded Warrior. Her story is pretty amazing.

The article is a fantastic primer on being a good wife, on being a good military wife. The lessons she talks about are what make a marriage last and survive tough times - and create amazing people. Of all the fantastic inspiration in the article, one thing really stood out to me as a military wife.

Her husband Joe gave her the best compliments when he described her. He said of his wife, "The girl was long-haul material. She had the 'right stuff'. Kim was Ranger quality." Now these are not the most romantic, flowery words a man could say about a woman, but they speak volumes about the kind of woman his wife is and the kind of woman who makes a good military wife.

It got me thinking, Am I military grade? Am I Ranger quality? (My husband actually was a Ranger before switching branches before I met him). When I think of military grade equipment I recognize it as tougher, stronger, more durable than every day stuff. Think of the laptop and phone cases that are military grade. They can be dropped, banged up and knocked over and they stay in one piece and protect the important stuff.

Am I the kind of woman who does not fall apart when I get bounced around and banged up by life? Do I put fear aside and do the right thing anyway? Am I willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish our family's missions? Do I do everything I can to protect the important, breakable stuff like my marriage, my family and my husband's feelings? I want to be military grade. My husband is and I want to be his partner in every way. So I'm taking this to heart and thinking about things that I can do to be a "military grade wife".

I can already see that in some areas I have done a great job, others I have done acceptably and in a couple I need serious improvement. I'm setting this as my new mantra "I am a military grade wife" and I am going to start thinking of it in those terms. I'm taking myself to my own little Military Wife Boot Camp and breaking down my weak spots so I can build myself up better, faster and stronger. I want to show my husband that he can trust me in ever way and that I am indeed "Military Grade Quality."

Have you ever thought about being "military grade"? What does that mean to you and how do you put it into play in your relationship and family?


  1. Margaret,

    I'm so glad I stumbled across your blog. I found this and your post on young 'MilSOs' and heart break the most gentle, eye-opening pieces of writing. Your voice seems honest and genuine and I take a lot of support from that. I'm one of those young MilSOs who could have been, sadly, but I've learned a certain amount of detachment and I regret none of my time with my army man.

    As for being "military grade" - or being good enough - definitely felt that! Can apply not just to relationships with men or women in the army but to being a good wife or girlfriend to a civilian man, too. I think it means feeling capable and powerful enough in yourself that you're not a burden to, and can support your significant other.

    Thanks for sharing your stories - you've got some great posts :)

  2. Ashley, I emailed you privately but I should've commented here too. Thanks so much for your kind words. I am so happy to share your journey if it helps anyone else through. I am definitely trying to pay forward all the great advice I got from books, training, blogs, etc. written by other military spouses. God bless you in your journey.


Hearing from you makes my day. Thanks for your comments.