Friday, April 26, 2013

Crying: A Normal Part Of Military Wife Life

Before I jump into the topic of this post I have to give a plug to Sparkly Pony who created these super cute tissue box covers. I adore these! You can buy them here. Check out the shop.

Now about the crying. Well, I've decided that if you are going to be a military girlfriend or wife you should just accept that you could pretty much find yourself in tears every day for the rest of your life. Invest in a wide range of tissues including the little purse packets. Also save every fast food napkin you don't use while eating and tuck it into your purse.

Her are a few reasons you might be crying.

1) Your loved one is constantly coming and going which causes a lot of unscheduled chaos in your life.
2) You are running a household for an entire family by yourself most of the time.
3) You have no other parent to back you up when the kids spin out of control.
4) You're alone on your birthday, anniversary, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, etc.
5) It's a holiday that celebrates anything to do with patriotism, America or the military.
6) You hear the national anthem in a ball park.
7) You just found out your loved one is going to deploy in six months.
8) You just saw a death notice for a service member online, on TV or in a newspaper.
9) You see a commercial for Wounded Warrior Project on TV.
10) You are watching your husband playing with your kids and seeing how much they miss each other.
11) You daughter starts crying in church and says all the other kids have their dads with them.
12) You aunt tells you about a man she met whose son-in-law has PTSD.
13) You're going insane because you just need this deployment to start already.
14) The disposal breaks and you find out it's been leaking under the cupboard for weeks.
15) You just locked yourself out of the house for the third time since he deployed two months ago.
16) You can't sleep again.
17) You lose the same 10 pounds four times and are still carrying it when he comes home.
18)You are Christmas shopping by yourself for your kids.
19) You see a couple hugging and kissing.
20) You see anything to do with a deployment goodbye or a homecoming on TV.
21) You get a letter with a little heart on the front with your initials inside it.
22) You realize you've been married for months but only together for days.
23) Anything breaks down on the car.
24) You see any show with a 21-gun salute military funeral.
25) You need a hug, a really big hug.
26) You find out you're husband barely missed a suicide bombing.
27) You finally hear from your husband and he's grumpy and cross & leaves you feeling worse.
28) You're constantly unable to plan anything because the military is always changing it's plans for you.
29) You read about military suicides
30) You drive on base after your husband's been deployed for six months.

Now I could list at least a hundred more reasons why it's easy to shed a few tears when you're a military spouse. And I don't think it's because military spouses and significant others are weak. I think it's because they're strong and deal with very stressful and often dangerous situations as part of their everyday life.

I'll be honest with you. I cry all the time. It's usually just a few tears, but I do. I cry a lot less now than I did the first six months. I cry when friends at church ask how he's doing. I cry when I wish I could fall asleep in his arms. I cry when things break down. I cry when I hear sad country songs on the radio about people dying. I find it a very normal part of my life now and I'm not embarrassed anymore. You know why? Because when I tell people who ask about our life, I can get them crying in a matter of seconds about things that don't make me cry much anymore at all. Serious and heartfelt things require a heartfelt emotional response from feeling people.

So cry on my sisters (and spouse brothers). It's fantastic therapy and hopefully as you go along you're able to enjoy those cries in the car alone or in your room at night. I find those are the places where I have my ugly cries these days. But if you shed a few tears in public, do not be embarrassed. If you have to, explain why to the people around you if it makes you feel better. Just keep being brave and strong.

You can do it. You're not alone. A million tears have been shed by loyal loving military spouses through the centuries. I think we can all relate to each other and we stand together in loyalty and love of God, country and spouse. There's no shame in a cry in fact it's pretty amazing. I am glad to have feelings that run that deep!

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