Deployment: Moving Closer To Family, Base or Staying Put

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One of the big decisions many spouses of deploying service members face is where to live while their spouse is gone. This was a big question mark for me as well. There are lots of ways to look at the picture.

When we first learned about his deployment, we were engaged and both living far from any family. But his daughter was close so for that reason it made sense for me to stay in this area. But we had also talked about me moving closer to my family. It turns out my parents' home would be empty during the time of Hubs deployment, so I could've saved a lot of money housesitting for them. But they live in another state.

We considered moving me close to his military base, so that I had access to base and a military and religious community who would likely be more understanding of what deployment is all about and might perhaps be more supportive. In the community where I lived, no one really had any clue about the military.

I definitely leaned toward moving closer to my family or his base. But I figured if I moved closer to base, I had no real connections with people there. I would be coming in knowing no one. Moving closer to my family wasn't a practical option because I needed to stay in contact with his daughter and would be able to have visitation with her and provide her contact with her Dad.

So in the end, for us, the best answer was for me to stay right where I was. In the end, we had a big surprise and my parents ended up moving near here for an assignment which covered our deployment plus a few weeks. It was great to have them close by. Friends and neighbors were super sweet and supportive here. Our church did a huge service project and sent about 20 care package boxes to him to share with coworkers and fellow church members. It was also good that I stayed for his daughter. Having me nearby was a major blessing for both of them.

There are a lot of decisions to make about where one will live and all of them have pros and cons. In the end there will be a lot of give and take with any decision made and once you make peace with that you are free to just live fully in the present moment of your decision. I am happy about the choice we made and know we made the right choice.