10 Little Things I Like To Do On Base

Since we don't live on base or particularly close to a base, getting a chance to visit is like visiting a relative who you feel really comfortable with but don't see often. It feels safe, happy and comfortable.

I thought I'd share 10 little things I enjoy doing when I'm on base. I'd love to see you add some you enjoy in the comments section.

1. Drive along the docks at night enjoying the city skyline behind and all the shiny lights of the ships that never sleep. This is even better by bicycle. You can look around more and it's so unusually quite on base that it just feels a little extra magical. You own the roads and it feels like a great big world just for you.

2. Buy make-up. This sounds so ridiculously girly but I do love getting a good deal on a designer lip gloss. There a pretty, shiny satisfaction in that. The only bummer is how it always takes them 15 minutes to find my shade in all the drawers packed into the bases of the make-up display cases. Don't ever think you're going to just rush in and get out fast.

3. Watch planes land. There's something quite stunning about watching a gigantic cargo plane land. I am befuddled by the science behind keeping such a huge thing in the air.

4. See movies and bowl. A few weeks ago we hit the early Saturday night movie and then walked across the street for Disco Bowling. One of those events is free. The other is quite an "ouch" cost on a Saturday night. Cost for Saturday night is about three times what it is on a weekend afternoon. Zoinks.

5. Go to the driving range. Taking Clementine to the on base golf course is a crack up. Boy does a second grade girl get all the guys looking when she makes an appearance there with clubs on her back. It always cracks me up. She holds her own. I wish I could always say the same about my game. (Hit & miss...)

6. Shop designer purses. There is something extra powerful about the draw to high quality leather goods when you know the prices are incredible and tax-free. I restrain myself pretty well though. I don't remember the last time I indulged.

7. Enjoy a good car wash. Granted I'm going to get wet but for $2 for the basic time it's still pretty cheap to get the car looking good even if you add several minutes. There's a lot of satisfaction in being able to wash my own car. There are no "spray your own" car washes near our house. I have to drive to another city for that.

8. People watch. A base is a great place to people watch. It's fun to see all the different "sailor" types strut their stuff, young and old. Last time we ate on base I watched a great big sailor sit on his phone the entire time he was having dinner with his parents. His bad. I love checking out the retirees and wondering what crazy stories they have to tell. People talk a lot and they talk loudly. You can pick up some great stories.

9. Have doors held for you. No where do I see such great manners in strapping young men for holding doors open for women. And it's often accompanied by a drawled "Maaaa'am." I thank the South for this! Such a treat in a world where people seem too self-involved and lacking basic manners.

10. Feel safe. Granted there have been some violent crimes committed on military bases the past few years, but I doubt there is anywhere in the world where so many people would have the courage to jump up and get involved if the you know what ever hits the fan. And we're talking well-trained people too. What a gift to be surrounded by such can-do people.

I think soon I'll do 10 things I don't like about base. Maybe some one will listen and make some needed changes. (I can pretend my opinion matters that much, haha.)

What are your favorite things to do on base?

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Organization Style: 10 Signs Husband Is Home

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These are definitely laugh so you don't cry moments around our home. Ways you know the man of the house is home.

1) Potato Chips bags are resealed with an 8" long strips of neon orange duct tape. God forbid any air get into THAT bag!

2) Daughter's clean laundry is all jammed in the wrong storage baskets. Pajamas in the shirt basket, shirts in the pants basket, shorts in the pajamas basket. This drives both of us girls cuckoo. It's such a simple system. They trust this guy with national and international security in a war zone but he can't separate clothing into four baskets with clearly defined categories???

3) Clothing is hanging from the sides of the bookshelves. The other night I had the self-discipline to calmly ask him to remove such an item without even letting my voice crack with annoyance. That's a big step for me!

4) Green duffle explosions continue to spread across the living room. I'm still not sure every bag has been opened yet. He brought home uneaten care package beef jerky. I'm not kidding.

5) There is a stack of things partially blocking the front entryway that are "headed for storage." I promise you, that unless we move, they will be there by the time school starts up in the fall.

6) Anything small that I leave out, he will attempt to clean up, "just to help out." I will never see those things again. I have a long list of things that have disappeared off the face of the earth since I met him.

7) I will clean up a small pile of clothing off the living room chair because that is a good place for him to change clothes with the plan to leave them there so he can easily find them the next day.

8) Cheap freebie pens and sticky notes covered in chicken scratch will begin appearing from every direction like termites. I will find dozens of them everywhere in the house. My high quality pens, that I take very good care of, will however all disappear.

9) All the toilet seats will be left up. I've never had a huge problem with this. I guess growing up in a house full of girls and one dad we just got used to checking and putting it down when necessary. We had to give the poor, picked on guy a break on something. But you do notice it when it starts happening suddenly and you aren't used to it.

10) Flashlights and batteries are found lying all over the house and in every car. I seriously don't think I can walk more than three feet in any direction without coming across a high powered flashlight or pile of batteries (any size) in original packaging or a plastic zip bag.

Man is it good to have this guy home. I just adore him even with all his hilarious quirks. Just seeing him puts a huge smile on my face. In fact just thinking about seeing him right now, when he's away on a short trip, makes my cheeks hurt with happy smiling.

The thing that is so funny about him is that as big as he is into being so super "stealth" in his public life and online, he could not camouflage his location if it was in our home for five seconds. His messes are more powerful than any GPS tracking device. If he's here, you darn well know it.

10 Things I've Loved About Him Coming Home

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Imagining that everything will be nothing but rosy and you will be nothing but cheerful as reintegration begins, sadly I've found to be impossible. Yes, there is SO much to be happy about. But there are things that are hard to adjust to, even when you know the possibilities in advance. It does help to have studied up on Reintegration, but it doesn't make one foolproof unfortunately. Oh, if only I could overlook the disastrous mess our living room now is, how our daily schedule has been shot to hell and I can't seem to stay on top of anything now, and I didn't feel anxious every time I think about my husband going out of town even for a short trip. But let's get back to all that happy stuff. Here are 10 things that I love about him being home.

1.Hugs and kisses. Oh it's good to get a hug when I'm tired and have been busy all day.

2. Falling asleep next to him. After a year of difficulty sleeping, I fall asleep within seconds if I lie on my side, holding his hand with my head on his shoulder. Just thinking about that makes my heart rate quickly drop.

3. Laughing with him. He has brought so much lighthearted fun back to our home. I love how silly he can be and how much more laughter there is here when he is here. Boys, no matter how big they are, are still fun little boys.

4. His smile. Obviously he is very tired still. Sometimes when he sneaks into our room to lie down for a few minutes, if I suddenly appear right up against him on the bed, trying to curl up with him, he gets the best "What are you up to little girl?" smile on his face that totally delights me. I missed that smile. I did see it a few times on Skype but it's much better to see it multiple times a day when he sees me shimmying up to him with a big smile on my face wherever he might be.

5. Parenting backup. Hooray for someone else in the house who can say, "Yes, young lady you ARE going to get up off the floor and go brush your teeth, NOW." I got so tired of what began to feel like nagging monologues trying to cajole our little one to get up, get dressed, to get hair and teeth brushed and every other little event that needed to happen throughout the day. Yay for some help!

6. Another adult in the front seats. I love being driven around instead of doing all the driving. When we do take my car, I love having someone in the passenger seat. It has been empty for SO long! Car conversation that achieves heights grander than early grade school are divine. Oh yes, please!

7. Seeing my cell phone "Recent Calls" list almost totally filled with his name. No more of that long distance communication, at least for a while.

8. Having him check up on me. I covered this topic here. This makes me so happy!

9. Early morning conversations. One of my favorite things is us both waking up in the middle of the night and having a great conversation. I don't get how this happens, but it's when we have some of our best talks. I think it's because we're relaxed and we're too tired to be anything but authentic. Last week it was 2:00-3:00 AM. Silly, but lovely.

10. Date night. Last weekend we went out for our first date night. It was romantic and gorgeous and lovely. It felt so good to reconnect as "just us." Not the us who run a household, who need to run errands, who are parents, but the us that met and started dating a few years ago. It's nice to have a boyfriend again!

I could go on and on, there are so many things to be completely thrilled about with him home again. It's amazing, thrilling and interesting. What have been your favorite things about ending deployment and having your partner in life at home again?

Homecoming: The Things He Missed

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One of the more comical things we've experienced since Hubs came home a week ago is realizing all the things he totally missed out on while he was gone, for better or worse. The little one and I have been laughing, winking and smiling at each other on the side as we watch Hubs re-discover our world as it is a year after he walked away and headed to the war zone.

Last week we were on base at the NEX and as we walked through the Men's Department, there were several TVs playing Psy's Gangnam Style video. Hubs had no idea what it was. We were totally surprised since it have been everywhere (hello over 1 billion views on YouTube alone!) and I have seen several military/war zone remakes of the video. Hubs stood there totally transfixed, perhaps stunned. He watched the entire video, cracking up and trying to understand, as most people have, how this video became the worldwide craze that it was.

It was hilarious to watch him. The little one stood there giggling that Dad had never seen this before and watching him discovering it for the first time. We've had some good laughs together, she and I, at the humor that homecoming is fraught with at times.

Later the same day the three of us went to the Commissary with the intention to pick up some sushi for Hubs. We got a small cart and intended to pick up a few food items to take back to the hotel room and for Hubs to keep with him while he continues post-deployment training, meetings, medical checks, etc. A half hour later we'd only made it down two aisles. Hubs had to check out everything and everything looked good to him. I was reminded of an important lesson, never take him to the grocery store hungry. Holy smokes!

Forty minutes later, with a cart totally overflowing with snack foods, protein powders, drinks and fruit, we were nowhere near done. In the chips aisle, Little One looked at me and said with a big smile, "Wow, it's like Dad's discovered a whole new world." She laughed. I had to laugh too.

Another 20 or so minutes we were finally at check out. As the bagger packed our things she looked at me and said, "Are you guys staying at the lodge?" A bit surprised, I replied, "Yes, can you tell from all the easy to eat snack food?" She laughed, "Yes!" I had to laugh that she so had our number. But it makes sense, we had absolutely no food staples in our cart, no milk, bread, cheese, cereal, produce or other home necessities. It was Daddy's snack food extravaganza!

The next day as we ate at the NEX Food Court there was a news show about the Boston Marathon bombing on the TVs. I asked him if he'd heard about it and from the basic facts he gave me, I could tell that he had missed the majority of the drama and the stress the country had felt in those days. Trying to give him a  quick recap was basically impossible.

I have learned that trying to explain anything to a recently returned deployed man in more than two sentences is a futile process. How do you encapsulate all that happened in those days down to two sentences? Impossible. So I tried and may have made some progress in four sentences, but I really don't think my explanation covered it or that he followed all of it.

Not only did he miss a ton of stuff on the homefront that we'll never really get him caught up on, but there are silly things and important things in the world that he missed too. It will be interesting to see what else we uncover as we go forward. I am sure some of it will make us laugh and some will make us a little sad too.

Things We Won't Tell My Husband Episode 8

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Things We Won't Tell My Husband is a little list of laugh or tear worthy things I probably won't ever tell my husband. I'm not keeping them from him, they probably just won't ever come up in all the catch up we have to do after him being gone for a year with spotty communications. I started this weekly column because I thought other military girlfriends and wives would relate. Maybe I should've called this "things that won't mean the same to my husband as they mean to me" or something like that. 

1. How much I love that he collected and traded patches during his deployment. Such a cute boyish thing to do and so totally cool too. He has an awesome collection.

2. How much I just love to stare at him now that I get to see him for a few days. He's off again today, bummer. A few weeks now before I'll see him again.

3. Speaking of which. I won't tell him how much it's hurting me to let him go away again already. Ouch, ouch, ouch. (Okay, I told him.)

4. How much I love being able to call him on his cell or for him call me. We did not have easy phone contact while he was gone. Love seeing his name come up on my phone display.

5. (I told him this one) How much I loved seeing him cooking in our kitchen on his one night at home. He made the most killer gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. We enjoyed them with fresh guacamole, lemonade, cherries and chips. Yum!

6. How much I love doing nice things for him. It's nice to be able to take care of him in person!

7. How much I am holding back to keep myself from chattering his ear off. Can't talk an entire year in one week. But I so want to.

8. How much I didn't realize he's missed about what was going on in America. He'd heard about the Boston Marathon bombing, but really didn't know anything about it. Not about the accused, Islamic ties, the whole 24-hour city lock down and capture, etc. Too hard to tell him the entire story in a few sentences!

9. How hilarious it was to watch him riveted to the video music displays in the men's department at the NEX when he first laid eyes on Psy and learned what Gangnam Style was. How is there anyone on earth that hasn't seen that in May 2013? Too funny. Our little one and I watched him staring and just laughed.

10. How glad I am to have a cheery little angel of a girl in our family as we are enter the reintegration process. She does not allow for grumpiness and at her age has learned that you have to control your own behavior so she's holding all the grown ups to that. When a grown up voice or voices get a little snippy or edgy she immediately sets us straight. Too cute. She's also full of hugs for Daddy and me and just a total joy to be around.

How about you? Any funny or sweet things your other half may never hear about?

What's Up With Military Boys?

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This is a little laugh about boys and by boys I mean our men who will always be little boys. Most of these are particular to military boys but they surely apply to civilian guys too. This post was inspired by meeting a Coast Guard Flight Surgeon who was my doctor at Urgent Care a couple of weeks ago who had many things in common with my husband. This is dedicated to my husband, the doc and all the curiously amazing men of the U.S. military -- and the women who love them.

1. What is up with a significant other or spouse touching or caressing your bottom in public. But if you did it to him he would tell you it was inappropriate.

2. What's up with cars. Needing more than one or two vehicles, being obsessed with gas mileage, engines, etc. What is up with being more obsessed with the well-being and protection of your car, even over people sometimes. lol.

3. What is up with being super health conscious and evangelizing it to everyone around you then eating whatever junk you want to eat on top of the protein powders and magical nutritious stuff.

4. What is up with needing so many high power flashlights, multi-tools, microscopic screwdrivers and knives?

5. What is up with all the post-it notes and pens in all your pockets that then find themselves all over the house? And why do you need to take every free junky, cheap pen you cross paths with?

6. What is up with the obsession with industrial strength hook and loop fastener (aka Velcro) and Duct Tape?

7. What's up with needing dozens of portable drink containers and shake mixers?

8. What is up with your TV channels like History, Military, Animal Planet, etc. and why do the shows have to be so loud?

9. What is up with pretending your too cool to be homesick when you clearly are?

10. What is up with the fact you are so darn lovable just as you are? We wouldn't trade you for anything!

Okay ladies, do you have any "What's Up With" questions you like to ask. Ask away in the comments below!

Things We Won't Tell My Husband: Episode 6

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Things we won't tell my husband is the subject of a funny, sometimes sad, sometimes sweet and touching weekly Monday feature about things that happened during deployment that my husband doesn't need to know about. In reality he probably doesn't care much about any of these things and will find out about most of them. But mostly these are just funny to share between military spouses and girlfriends. This column in a facial expression would be angelically smiling on one side of my face and cringing on the other. So here we go.

1. That after I raced to get Clementine to her golf lesson with my hair all long and pretty, in a skirt and heels, the substitute golf teacher could not keep his hands off me. Nothing inappropriate per se, but a lot of rubbing hands on the back, putting hands on my shoulders while I stood behind Clementine talking to her, etc. His face was about two inches from mine when he asked me my name. Whew. I had to laugh. Not bad for the ego once in a while, especially when you're quite past 25 or your husband's been deployed for 11/12ths of a year or both. haha.

2. That the idea of having to rehearse an entire day of important goings on at home sometimes sounds beyond exhausting. Like my head will fall off and roll across the floor exhausting. Living it once is enough, but having to revisit it all with him sometimes is a little too much even though he totally deserved to know and I want him to. But all the explaining and question answering, etc. gets overwhelming at times. I just wish I could hit replay on a video or something.

3. How much I hate that he doesn't just spell check his emails. It's not like I haven't asked. Sometimes I swear he's typing in a foreign language. Communicating halfway around the world is hard enough already, give me a little spell check love, will ya?!

4. Speaking of spell check, when you have a little kid in grade school and they see their parent misspelling tons of words it goes against everything they are being taught at school and really bugs them. It makes me smile and I'm going to let her discuss that with her dad when he gets home.

5. That when he gets home the little one and I are going to have a talk with him about how much we love our cool base sweatshirts he sent to us and how much we hate that he had velco sewn into both sides of the hoodie pockets. (I'm laughing so hard while I'm typing this.) Talk about anal retentive military gear.

I know he absolutely LOVES the idea that one could now keep their keys & all their junk in that pocket, but Silly Rabbit, girls don't carry stuff in that pocket. That's where we like to put our hands and velcro does not feel good against the skin...at all. We'll be cutting that out after he comes home, but I don't have the heart to yet because I know he thinks he did the most spectacular thing for us ever by doing that. And how I love him for that.

6. That I'm getting battery for unused, parked 3rd car charged for the 5th time this week so it's running when he gets back. Sorry but this Mama has not had time to be able to run that car for 30 minutes every week to keep the battery charged. I tried...kinda, but when you're in survival mode with way too much on your plate, something has to go.

7. That I'm planning afternoon black ops trips to Taco Bell when he comes back. He's not a fan. I am.

8. That I'm still hoping we can have a post-deployment wedding celebration with our families and friends when he gets back. Haven't really mentioned this since we have a lot on our plates these days.

9. That I hope I remember where I've buried some of his stuff since he left. It's been a long year, I realize I may have forgotten some of my "excellent" organizational tricks to get his stuff out of the way. It seemed like a year was going to be an eternity. (I'm smiling angelically on one side of my face and cringing on the other). How many times am I going to hear "Where's my _____ ?" over the summer?! Eeek. Super scary, seriously. LOL.

10. That I'm a different person than when he left. I think I'm part the girl he met when we first met years ago (who I honestly think I'd lost for the past couple of years) and I'm now also part super soft-hearted mom and kick arse battle-hardened wife. I know he'll be different too. Hope we're ready for each other. Can't wait to start dating each other again.

So that's it for this week. Any of these you can connect with in your own life?

Things We Won't Tell My Husband: Episode 4

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Things We Don't Tell My Husband is a weekly column here where I share silly, sometimes sad or scary things I don't need to tell my husband because it won't help anything. In truth, these are all things I would gladly discuss with my husband if needed and necessary but it's more fun to share them and laugh with readers who will understand.

1. That we have not sat at the table to eat dinner in months. We often sit at the counter and even (GASP!) sometimes eat at the coffee table watching The Pioneer Woman episodes. And yes the little one has spilled a ton of food on the carpet there. Sigh.

2. That I have created a very well-functioning schedule for our family while he's been gone and it works superbly. When he comes back I know it's all going to go to the dogs and I'm going to be frustrated. I'm praying we can find some sort of compromise.

3. That I'm tired of the words "New Normal." Don't want to hear that anymore. lol.

4. That occasionally I let the little one eat stuff he wouldn't let her eat.

5. That it's been nice to not hear swearing like a sailor around the house.

6. That I got a parking ticket last week. $68! And I performing an act of kindness for someone and was only there for 15 minutes.

7. How lost I sometimes feel in the shell of our life here.

8. How sad our little one gets when she sees other kids with their dads.

9. That we desperately need a new bed. His great bed is in storage 150 miles away & mine is shot and getting worse by the minute. Seriously, it's awful.

10. That sometimes when I'm in the grocery store I throw in an expensive magazine for myself.

How about you readers. Anything funny or melancholy you'd like to add? We're all sisters here and we get it. Sending big love.

Lessons I Learned From Army Wives

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Army Wives premiered about the same time I met a retired Army Ranger who I dated for a short time. So it piqued my interest and I started watching and stayed. Then five years ago when I met Mr. Hart it definitely continued to be a bit of an educational tool to help me understand the military world. I never imagined in a million years we would act out our own deployment drama in real life years later.

Here are 10 helpful lessons I have learned from Army Wives:

1. How to be a good military "sister"
2. That there are lots of different types of military families and military wives
3. That separation breeds misunderstanding & contention
4. That being the homefront to a service member is a LOT of work & scheduling
5. That forging strong friendships is a good thing
6. The meaning of words like "chit", "Jody Bar" and FPCON ALPHA.
7. That everyone gets a little bit screwed over at some point in their military career
8. To never expect a schedule to stay firm
9. That if you're on TV you can get promoted through the ranks quite quickly
10. That there are details about your husband's work that you can never know about

How about you dear readers? What lessons have you learned from seven seasons of Army Wives?

Things We Won't Tell My Husband: Episode 3

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This is just a silly little column I publish every Monday morning about silly things my husband doesn't need to know that I've been up to while he's been deployed. Nothing immoral or illegal, just stuff that would make him laugh, roll his eyes at me or even worry a bit. But these are things I think most girlfriends and wives have either done or can totally relate to. Nothing I mention here is something I wouldn't actually own up to if he asked or if it mattered. They're just little things.

1. That I went through the drive-thru the other day while he was chattering away on the phone and just muted it while I ordered, then again when I paid and picked up my food. He had no idea.

2. That I have not missed hearing about all his biological processes while he's been gone. lol.

3. That it's been so long that I have started to miss his super, super stinky workout shirts in the laundry.

4. That I realized early on it would be very easy to lean too much on other men while he's gone and have been very careful about getting into any situation that could lead to anything compromising happening.

5. That I still haven't taken care of that one Tri-care bill. Only have a couple weeks to get that done before it's too late. (I'll do it Tuesday).

6. That I like to embarrass him by decorating the envelopes of all my letters with neon markers & hearts just because I know it kinda puts him on the spot....but really he loves getting mail. Indulging me is the price he'll have to pay.

7. That without meaning to, I realized last week when I was a little mad with him that I have put framed photos of him everywhere in the bedroom. Hard to stay mad when everywhere you turn his face is smiling back at you....Ack, there he is again!

8. That I know he always keeps a couple of letters unopened just in case he really needs one some day. He gets them often enough, that it's not a problem.

9. That it hurts my feelings a little on days when our little one gets all fun, smiles, hugs and kisses from him and then when it's my turn on the computer or phone I get a TO DO list, talk about bills, frustrations and worries. I know it's par for my "rank" but....

10. That just because I don't verbally freak out with him about stuff he worries about doesn't mean I'm not freaking out a lot inside. I just don't see how it will help for BOTH of us to be freaking out at the same time. Seriously.

How about you? Any silly things you don't tell your husband? Anything that breaks your heart just a little bit? And remember, keep in within the moral and legal limits. Don't be tarnishing up my innocent little blog with anything stupid or truly destructive now.

Miss Him Trying To Get Out Of The Doghouse

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Here's something silly I'm looking forward to seeing my husband do when he gets back. I'm guessing it will happen sometime in the first couple of weeks he's home. The hilarious routine he does when he knows he's pushed it too far, is on the verge of "the doghouse" and needs desperately to save himself.

He knows just how to get me laughing to save himself and I've missed that silly, aggravating routine. I'm sure you know just what I'm talking about if you are married or in a long-term relationship. I think every man learns this routine at a very early age to sweet talk his mother when he knows he's misbehaved.

It's impossible to stay mad, frustrated or annoyed when he starts this silliness, mostly because it's so absurd that he things he can get away with it. The audacity of that is what makes is so effective and so funny. He'll start out with a big, mischievous smile, then start speaking in a high-brow British accent, saying "Oh, come now Margaret, you can't be mad at me" try to hug me and which point I will start to roll my eyes, shake my head and try to hold him at arm's length.

Then he will start proclaiming sweet nothings, his undying devotion and how he knows I can't possibly stay mad at him. At this point I am attempting with all my might to steel my resolve not to fall for this yet again.

Then the "I can't believe he thinks he can get away with this" laugh starts to percolate in me and it's impossible to not smile. Then, darn it, he knows he's got me and it's time for his all-out assault. He'll grab me, kiss me, tickle me, whatever it takes to totally and completely break me down. Then I'm laughing and he knows he's won this battle, at least for today.

It's been so long since we've had, I call it "the joy" of seeing this play out, because we haven't been together and those little everyday annoyances haven't been a part of our lives. It's silly what you cherish when it's been a long time since you've been with the one you love. But this silliness is one thing I will look forward to. This and his silly techno music DJ routine he does sometimes. It's so hilarious. I already asked him if he'll do that for me when he gets home. There will be lots of silly little every day things to enjoy when he gets back here to our loving arms. Can't wait!

The Gift of Boxes of Scarves

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I'm pretty sure Mr. Hart has bought and sent home about 100 scarves for Clementine and me without realizing how many he's bought. Every time he's sent home anything, there has been most of one 12" x 12" box packed with scarves. We do wear a lot of scarves around here at night when it gets humid and cool to keep my and Clementine's necks warm so they are a good gift. Especially since our current collection has begun to show some wear and tear.

There are silk scarves, pashminas, long rectangles, squares, stripes, animal prints, bold patterns...oh so many scarves. It's understood that he'll use some as gifts going forward (which I'm thrilled about), but seriously we have boxes and boxes of scarves. And for some reason they always arrive smelling strongly of diesel fuel and have to be aired out for some time. Some of the scarves I have immediately fallen in love with and some I wouldn't wear. He always picks out beautiful blue ones for me to go with my eyes. When we received the first box full, while I sat staring at them in surprise, wondering what we were going to do with all those scarves, I was inspired with a thought that has carried me through receiving more and more scarves with a smile.

I just remind myself that every one of those scarves represents moments when he was thinking of us, wanting to show us his love and wanting to feel connected to home. If spending money on those scarves made him feel good, feel love, feel happy even for just a few minutes in the warzone, then I am all for it, even if they never get worn. Those tons of scarves are really about so much more than something around the neck. They are really intended to wrap our hearts in his love until the day he returns to us and beyond. How I treasure those scarves, even the ugly smelly ones.

Have you found yourself receiving gifts you weren't quite sure what to do with? Share your love-filled slightly silly story below in the comments. We love hearing your stories.

The Overpowering Emotions Of The Uniform

One day not long after Mr. Hart left on deployment I was walking down the street in our neighborhood and towards me came a man in military camos. My entire soul lit up and I greeted him with the most emphatically cheerful, excited hello he's probably ever gotten from a complete stranger. Bizarre of me and totally embarrassing.

Now I need to clarify that we live nowhere near a base. But we do have a small Army Reserve post nearby. In more than a decade I've seen a man in uniform in our neighborhood probably five times. We actually have a huge VA near our home, but that brings more sad, homeless wanderers than men in uniform to our streets.

There is something about seeing anyone in uniform when you're missing your man in uniform that is a little overpowering. Clementine and I have shed a few tears when we walk into the food court of our naval base and are surrounded by uniforms and men who remind us so much of our Daddy. In the past he was always with us when we had lunch or dinner there. It's hard to watch other military men eat with their families, girlfriends and buddies without deeply missing ours.

I always adore the uniformed men who go out of their way on base to hold doors for us and call me "Ma'am" in a respectful way that makes me actually appreciate being called "Ma'am." This is very unlike how I feel when a soul-less cashier who doesn't even look up at me calls me that. I think most women hate being called "Ma'am" but when a strapping young buck waits for you, holds the door for you and is so polite with his southern drawl, it's a whole different story. Gentlemanly manners do still live and in uniform they are ridiculously handsome.

There is something about those uniforms in all their varieties, purposes, fabrics and fits that become a real part of a military family. For years I've washed them, ironed them (no easy feat!), and hung them proudly on hangers. I have appreciated the hub's broad shoulders and fit back side in those tan desert khakis like a good wife should. For an entire year, except during R&R, the uniform is the only clothing we've seen our Daddy wear on Skype. That uniform is what he is wearing when he goes away from us for a while. That is what he was wearing when he arrived home to us for R and R. The next time we see him he will be in that uniform.

The uniform is definitely a source of pride and connection. I hope to get through the rest of our deployment before I start throwing my arms around any man in uniform. I'm kidding, really I'm kidding.

*This post is linked up with Walkabout Wednesdays. If you like Military blogs hop over and check out some others.

When Will He Be Here, They Ask Repeatedly

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I have tried to be a student of other military wives experiences as I face this deployment. I have read some very inspiring, encouraging and wise books and blogs that have been a great help to me. One of the things I have read several times from a variety of sources is that when it's time for your service member to come home you will be repeatedly asked "When will he be here?" with great enthusiasm from neighbors, friends and family. At some point this will begin to drive you crazy when you tell them repeatedly that you don't know. 

Any military spouse worth their salt knows that you have no idea when they'll be here or if they'll even actually get here any time close to when you've been told. It's totally possible their orders will suddenly be changed or their R&R will be cancelled. Again I also read this repeatedly in the spouse literature. I already knew to never hold my breath about a military timeline, but the reminder is a good done, since it's easy to get so excited that you just want them here already. A little temperance of expectations is a healthy thing.

So with R&R coming up, there is much anticipation around here for his arrival. Despite me telling people who ask that I don't know, they continue to ask. Sometimes I think they believe I am not telling them the whole truth or that I'm trying to keep something from them. But I seriously don't know. I don't.

So when they ask me for the third or fourth time when he will be here, I do feel a little, what shall we say, annoyed. I don't know, really, I'm telling you the truth. He'll get here when he gets here. Then I am reminded about the next thing I read in these same articles on homecoming. These constant questions will begin to get tiresome. Yes, they are. I smile with the sister & brotherhood of spouses on this one, knowing that we are all in the same boat!

Now if I just had five dollars for every time I've been asked that question in the last month, I would go on a super great shopping spree! And I promise you all that when he is here, I will tell you. That's not to say I won't shelter him and ensure that he gets actual rest, recuperation and relaxation. That is a must and my first priority. But dear ones, please know, I really don't know when he will be here and I realize you find this bizarre and crazy but I am totally used to it. That is life in the military.

And yes, I am completely, insanely excited to see him. And yes, he did tell me last night that his trip might have to be delayed. I smiled. I laughed...and reminded him he told me he would be here soon and I expect him to keep that promise. Then I said, "No pressure, right?" with a big smile. He'll get here when he gets here and we'll love every moment.