Chill Drills: Meditation With A Military Touch

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I like to go through all the deployment literature I've received from the Navy and support organizations on a regular basis. No matter how many times I go through it I always seem to find something new that happens to fit right into where we are at that phase of deployment.

As I was going through brochures and books last week I found a handout for Chill Drills. These are meditations created by a counselor who works primarily with service members. You can read more about Heidi J. Bauer and Chill Drills here. These short meditations were developed specifically for use by military folks but they are just as applicable and helpful for military spouses and children too. There are six .mp3 downloads in varying topics available here.

These would be great to download and give to military loved ones. Well-being is a huge part of their ability to be successful, to get quality sleep, recovery and downtime. I am going to pass them along to my husband when he gets home. I have tried to meditate with him before but he usually just gets quickly distracted and then starts watching me as I am meditating. He definitely needs to relax more so I am hoping to get him hooked on these. If I tell him they were specifically created for military folks maybe he'll take them a little more seriously.

I encourage you to check these out yourself and definitely make sure your military folks hear about these and have access to them. The ability to tune down stress is life critical for all of us. It has a huge impact on our health. Little actions like a few minutes of meditation go a long way to keep our bodies, minds and spirits healthy. Check out Chill Drills!

Deployment Took Away My Pretty

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First I just have to say that this image totally cracked me up because it totally and completely reflects how I feel inside about the subject of this post. I was looking in the mirror last night, while I was gargling very potent mouthwash. I hoped it would kill all the germs in my throat and keep this sore throat from becoming something more. I was wearing my glasses, had just taken off my makeup, my hair was looking haggard and I was wearing baggy pajamas. Let me just warn you -- this is not a great time or situation in which to be making healthy judgments about one's looks.

But the very sad thought came to me -- Deployment took away my pretty. I seriously feel like I've aged 10 years in the last three years. In the beginning of the 11th month of a 12-month deployment, my skin is broken out, I should have refreshed my highlights in February and I have lost the same 10 pounds four different times. Money is  tight and I have a kiddo at home, so there's no going off to Paris, like in the movie Sabrina, to become a whole new woman.

I look TIRED! I'm not sleeping, my eyes look horrible. Dark circles under them. My skin looks gray, my face is puffy. I look...just bad. With a little more sleep I think I can fix this. (She types as she writes this at 2 AM). I am still hopeful about the weight. I have a haircut scheduled.

Guess who else looks equally worn out and tired. My husband. He lost 20 pounds of pure muscle his first six months. Why, I ask the gods of heaven, couldn't I have lost weight and he have stayed steady! lol. Then he had pneumonia for the next two months. His eyes look tired too.

Maybe we can put ourselves back together, together. Maybe a little downtime and some summer sun on our cheeks will be just the medicine to bring us back to our former selves or maybe even better. At the very least, I pray he will overlook my looks until we get back to a more even keel. He did say I was pretty in that card he sent last week, no actually the word was beautiful AND awesome, smart AND wise! So maybe he hasn't forgotten what once was, maybe that girl can come back once she has a little less stress and a handsome man at arm's reach to give her a little love and TLC. (She smiles in her sweetest, most hopeful, charming, prettiest smile).

Inability To Sleep: A Major Milso Complaint

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Every night on social media I see MILSOs talking about how they can't sleep. I have been in the same boat many times during the past months of deployment. I thought I would share some of the ways I help myself get to sleep.

1) Give yourself plenty of time to wind down. It often takes a couple of hours for your body to shut down if you have been busy all day.

2) Before bedtime try to avoid TV, computer, phone -- electronics in general which tend to mess up your mind's ability to calm itself down.

3) Put on calming instrumental music before you get ready for bedtime. No emotional love songs that will bring you down. Just simple religious, spiritual or mediational types of music.

4) Meditate and calm yourself with downloadable meditations. There are tons of great ones on iTunes. I have mediations for centering myself, energizing myself, sleep, relaxation, weight loss and relationships. It's great to have another voice in your head besides your own, saying positive things.

5) Exercise early in the day. Working out late at night can bump up your energy and make it hard for your body to wind down.

6) Avoid sugars, caffeine and spicy food in the evenings. They can rev up your energy levels or mess with your stomach just as you're trying to sleep.

7) Read a book. That will usually put me to sleep pretty quickly...unless it's an amazing book and then I'll just stay up all night to finish it. But that means the next day you'll be exhausted and probably go to bed early...that's sleep, right?

8) Wake up early and keep a regular sleep schedule. Don't sleep late or take long naps that will confuse your body. Try to do the same thing every day as much as possible. Then your body will know to get tired at your chosen bedtime and help regulate itself to sleep.

Hope these simple little tips help. I find we all basically know this good stuff but sometimes it helps to just hear it from someone else. Now get to sleep! Wink.

Giving Yourself Love

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If there is one thing you should plan, schedule and budget for during deployment is is taking care of yourself. It's so easy to get lost in the stresses of deployment, caring for home and family. No matter where you are in your life there will always be more to do than there is time and energy for. So don't let it take over your life, wear you down and take away your joy.

Here are 10 things you can to do give yourself a little time and tender loving care today;

1) Get a massage, pedicure, manicure or all of the above. Budget this into your monthly spending, even if it's just a 10 minute chair massage. It will help you stay healthy in body and mind.

2) Take a 15-minute break for yourself. Step away from family, TV, computers, cell phones and find a quiet place to sit back with a cup of tea or other beverage and just be. Breathe deeply, take in the sunset, relax your body from your feet right to the top of your head.

3) Take a walk. Get your blood flowing, look at nature, get some fresh air in your lungs. You'll start reconnecting with yourself as you look up to enjoy all the world has to offer you.

4) Meditate. There are so many awesome guided meditation podcasts you can download from iTunes or other sites. There are mediations to get you energized, relax you, help you sleep, let go of hurts and anger and many more topics. They are free and will give you a chance to relax and to tune your mind to a higher frequency.

5) Take a bath. Hot water, eyes closed. Heavenly. I like this philosophy about the power of bathing.

6) Meet up with a friend. Spending even just a few minutes on the phone with an inspired, fun friend can get your energies focused in a positive, cheerful direction quickly. It's good to laugh together, share frustrations, laughs and goals.

7) Read a book. Whether it's a juicy romance or a silly comedy, reading is a great way to focus your energies on one task and give yourself a new world to escape into.

8) Wander somewhere new. Whether it a park you've never been to or a shop you've always wanted to visit, new places can revive your soul and give you fun new ideas and inspirations.

9) Take yourself to lunch. Sitting in the sun, eating something you didn't have to dig out of your own fridge can be fantastically joyful. Bring a book or a magazine and enjoy food you didn't have to make.

10) Buy yourself a little treat. It doesn't have to be expensive, it can be a new pair of earrings, a favorite magazine, a new pair of running socks. Spending money can be a very dangerous way to get through deployment, note I didn't say buy yourself a new wardrobe or roomful of furniture. But an occasional little treat won't kill the budget and it's fun!

Hope these ideas help you plan to give yourself a little more love, more time and more care. You deserve it!

The Body Has A Mind Of Its Own

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When I looked ahead and anticipated how I could best THRIVE through deployment I started making lists of things I could do or had to look forward to during that time. I thought if I stayed busy it would help the time go by. I thought if I have all this free time I should accomplish some big things. I thought if I was this free of most of my major commitments I should do some big, fantastic things.

On my list were: spend time with friends, try to plan something with someone every week, go out on weekends, visit my family, take classes, start a business, get super fit. Oh, I had plenty to keep myself busy and to keep my mind off all the scary worries of deployment.

I thought if I had my mind in the right place, I would be able to accomplish anything I wanted to. I learned very quickly that it would not be that easy. Once I drove home from saying goodbye to Mr. Hart and watching his plane fly away, I don't remember much that first week. I remember unloading the car and sleeping a lot. I was exhausted. The anxiety alone was exhausting but add in all we had to accomplish in those last few days and it was easy to see why I crashed when I got back. I didn't leave the house much, didn't even get dressed the first few days. But this was sort of the case the first day or two of every big trip Mr. Hart had left on. Once all the getting him out the door had happened, I usually took a couple of days to get back to normal.

I quickly realized that getting up to speed this time was not going to be a day or two but a bit longer. We had been through an extraordinarily stressful time the eight weeks leading up to his deployment that entailed much more than just getting him ready to go. I also quickly learned that even though I wanted to go gangbusters accomplishing things that my body had a completely different idea. While I was dealing with the conscious stress pretty well, my body was going through all the stress in it's own way. And I had very little control over it.

Within days I was sick. Then I couldn't sleep. I wouldn't fall asleep until 1 or 2 in the morning. Then if anything woke me up, I could not go back to sleep.That usually happened between four and five in the morning. On top of that I started having nightmares. You might think I was having nightmares about something happening to Mr. Hart, but I didn't. I was having nightmares about what would happen if everything came crumbling down around me here at home. In my waking hours I realized that although I didn't feel it consciously, my subconscious was very actively freaking out. While I tried to talk to my subconscious, it had to work through all the stress and worry in it's own way and time. This was all a huge surprise to me. I thought a positive attitude could overcome anything in my life.

The lack of sleep began to mess with my head when I was conscious. I fumbled over simple sentences, couldn't remember things like where I put my keys and I forgot about things on the calendar. I locked myself out of the house, car or both several times in the first weeks he was gone. In my entire life I have probably locked myself out of a car or house only three times. This was beginning to be a regular event for me.

While I was suffering from the body's will to control itself in its own way, I started benefiting from it's regulatory and balancing abilities. Eventually I was so tired that I started sleeping a lot. At some point my body had to quit fighting itself and shut down. It was amazing how quickly I began to feel better, my head was clearer and I started feeling like my old self.

I learned a big lesson those weeks that despite our best plans and expectations, sometimes we can't know what we can expect from our bodies. They need time, attention and nurturing and that doesn't always fit into our plans - especially in pre-deployment mode. It was a big lesson in learning to go with the flow of things. I was not going to be super woman right out of the gates. I was mourning a lot of things and accepting many scary new possibilities into my life. There was a huge amount of responsibility suddenly heaped on my shoulders. My body and my subconscious needed time to catch up.

Once I relaxed and allowed that to happen, with a little time things got much better. But it took a good eight weeks to fully pass through this phase. This is definitely something I didn't expect. Something else I didn't expect was that this would come back in varying cycles again and again. I would continue to experience bouts of sleeplessness followed by spells of intense tiredness and needing to sleep more than normal.  Family problems, preparing for R&R, recovering from R&R, times I knew he was traveling, moments like these often lead to a return to this crazy cycle but in much smaller spells thank goodness.

I hope if you are reading this and facing deployment or any other big upheavals in your regular daily life that you will give your mind, body and spirit time to get caught up with each other and adjust over time. Don't be too hard on yourself but listen to yourself and do what it is you feel you need to keep things in balance as much as possible. I send you my prayers for the challenges in your journey and for an abundance of good health and well-being.