10 Things To Consider Before Dating Someone In The Military

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If you are going to date someone who is a member of the military, part-time or full-time here are a few things to consider and be ready for:

1) If you are someone who needs a boyfriend or girlfriend at your side at all times or their constant attention and affection, a military spouse life is not going to be a great choice for you. Do not expect they can do that for you and do not make them feel guilty that they should. Make a different choice or find a way to become more independent.

2) If you do not want to spend prom, birthdays, wedding anniversaries, babies births and holidays without your significant other or future spouse do not date someone in the military. This is a given in the military and other professions like medical, fire and law enforcement. Make plans for how you will celebrate holidays without them and enjoy them.

3) If you are someone who needs to live close to your family, do not date or marry someone in the military. You will move a lot, potentially in far flung places around the world. Do not expect anything otherwise. Do not pretend this is not real. Do not be dramatic or unhappy when this happens.

4) If you are not supportive or interested in the military as a family life choice do not date or marry someone who loves their career in the military. Do not anticipate that you will get them to leave it and do something else.

5) If you have a very defined career path that requires a specific location & number of years spent in one place a military partnership will make that very difficult. Choose a career that is easily portable. If you want a big career that demands you live in a particular area, or long years in one place, don't date people in the service.

6) If you have a lot of anxiety and worry a lot, being a military spouse may not be something you are built for. Your choices are find every way possible to strengthen yourself and survive or choose a less stressful life for yourself. A military spouse works with uncertainty and danger every day. If that isn't something you handle well it will add a lot of stress to a service member's life, which isn't fair to them.

7) You need to understand that when men have been eating dirt, crawling on their stomachs under barbed wire, on a ship, or dusty, remote camp, sleeping on the world's worst mattress (if they even have one) they are going to be ornery. And sorry to say it, but some of that is going to blow back on you because they can't vent it anywhere else. You cannot take this personally. This will be one of the biggest challenges to your relationship because it's eventually going to get you hot under the collar and sick and tired of hearing it and then you're going to lose it a little and there's going to be a fight. The fewer times you can let it get that far, the better. (Not that I know anything about this, I've just heard....wink). Read more about military couple deployment arguments here.

8) Consider that in a local or national emergency if is likely your service member will be called to serve the country or local community. They will likely not be available to take care of you. You will need to make plans and be ready to stand up and act on your own to protect yourself and your family. There is enough emergency preparedness information out that that you should be able to be ready for anything - especially things particular to your geographic location.

9) If you aren't a happy person, you won't be happy with the military. There will be lots of things to complain about and get frustrated by. Obsessing about all these things will make you, your partner and everyone around you miserable. If you can see the glass half-full, you will have a fantastic experience with a military spouse.

10) If you meet a military man, fall in love with him and are up for a great adventure you will find a lot to love about dating and potentially marrying a service member. There is a lot to enjoy and love about the adventures the military can bring to your life. If you chose, it will make you strong, courageous, brave, more outgoing and give you a network of friends around the world.