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These are definitely laugh so you don't cry moments around our home. Ways you know the man of the house is home.
1) Potato Chips bags are resealed with an 8" long strips of neon orange duct tape. God forbid any air get into THAT bag!
2) Daughter's clean laundry is all jammed in the wrong storage baskets. Pajamas in the shirt basket, shirts in the pants basket, shorts in the pajamas basket. This drives both of us girls cuckoo. It's such a simple system. They trust this guy with national and international security in a war zone but he can't separate clothing into four baskets with clearly defined categories???
3) Clothing is hanging from the sides of the bookshelves. The other night I had the self-discipline to calmly ask him to remove such an item without even letting my voice crack with annoyance. That's a big step for me!
4) Green duffle explosions continue to spread across the living room. I'm still not sure every bag has been opened yet. He brought home uneaten care package beef jerky. I'm not kidding.
5) There is a stack of things partially blocking the front entryway that are "headed for storage." I promise you, that unless we move, they will be there by the time school starts up in the fall.
6) Anything small that I leave out, he will attempt to clean up, "just to help out." I will never see those things again. I have a long list of things that have disappeared off the face of the earth since I met him.
7) I will clean up a small pile of clothing off the living room chair because that is a good place for him to change clothes with the plan to leave them there so he can easily find them the next day.
8) Cheap freebie pens and sticky notes covered in chicken scratch will begin appearing from every direction like termites. I will find dozens of them everywhere in the house. My high quality pens, that I take very good care of, will however all disappear.
9) All the toilet seats will be left up. I've never had a huge problem with this. I guess growing up in a house full of girls and one dad we just got used to checking and putting it down when necessary. We had to give the poor, picked on guy a break on something. But you do notice it when it starts happening suddenly and you aren't used to it.
10) Flashlights and batteries are found lying all over the house and in every car. I seriously don't think I can walk more than three feet in any direction without coming across a high powered flashlight or pile of batteries (any size) in original packaging or a plastic zip bag.
Man is it good to have this guy home. I just adore him even with all his hilarious quirks. Just seeing him puts a huge smile on my face. In fact just thinking about seeing him right now, when he's away on a short trip, makes my cheeks hurt with happy smiling.
The thing that is so funny about him is that as big as he is into being so super "stealth" in his public life and online, he could not camouflage his location if it was in our home for five seconds. His messes are more powerful than any GPS tracking device. If he's here, you darn well know it.
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