Deployment: 10 Blessings In The Silver Lining

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I hear people complain so much about how much deployment sucks. It does, that's a given for a lot of reasons. But I think when people get so hung up on complaining about it they miss the opportunities to grow and improve themselves from the lessons they are learning.

Deployment is not a free pass to be miserable, whiny and grumpy all the time. It's not a time to give up on life and loaf around sad for a year. It's also not a free pass to be a total witch to anyone who dares look at you the wrong way. Sadly I see that sometimes. And as difficult and scary as deployment can be there are still harder, scarier things in life that can happen to you. Now that our deployment is over I appreciate much more the blessing that came to our family as a result of a one-year deployment to the war zone. Here are 10 blessings I received from deployment.

1) I learned to appreciate everything my husband does. The first week my husband was gone I realized he had been taking out a lot of trash every week without me realizing it. I knew he took out the trash but I had no idea how much trash we created and how often he was taking it out. There were a thousand other things like that that I realized I had been taking for granted. I learned to appreciate the big things he does and the little things. We have a stronger relationship now than we have ever had. I attribute that to deployment and to our efforts to make a good effort every day.

2) I learned to love the little things about him more. I realized my husband's great sense of humor keeps our house happy and smiling. He brings a lightness and joviality to the house that we didn't have in the same measure when he was gone. I missed his smile, all his different silly laughs, his goofy voices and him getting the car door for me.

3) I became a stronger person. Deployment requires a level of maturity that requires growth from everyone who goes through it. The deployment curse alone means you're going to have to get through hard things on your own. The strength you get from being "Brave & Strong" every day are a great blessing and confidence builder as you go forward in your life.

4) I learned to be brave and live with fear. Being afraid every day that your loved one will be the victim of a suicide bomber or IED creates a level of constant fear in your life that you have to deal with. At some point I learned to compartmentalize that fear so that I didn't make myself crazy. That has strengthened my "calm" muscles and helped me to realize that whatever comes, no matter what it is, I can find my way through it. All I have to do is deal with the present moment, I don't have to ruin every day worrying about things that haven't happened or may never happen.

5) I made some fantastic friendships both inside and outside of the military. We had some people who really stepped up when they heard my husband was deploying. They are now my special deployment angels and I make sure God knows how much I appreciate them and want Him to bless them. I would be lost without the great advice and shared giggles of other military spouses I have met online. I actually have no "in person" military girlfriends but I have fantastic support network on line who have really helped me in so many ways. Just realizing how similar many of our experiences are and how similar at times our husbands or significant others are is a total crack up and pretty big relief sometimes.

6) I enjoyed a greater closeness with my immediate and extended family. It was great to have a little more time to spend with family. Their support, cheering us on was priceless.

7) I had a little more time to rest. It was nice to have a little more downtime and schedule flexibility than usual. With my husband away, I had less cooking and cleaning duties, fewer time schedules to work around. We ate simply, we planned more outings, I sneaked more naps when I could. While I would always rather have him here, this was a little blessing I took advantage of. Now that he's home I'm on the phone with him multiple times a day arranging schedules, reviewing business and family issues and more. I love having him home, life is just more busy.

8) I learned to let go of things that bothered me and not to worry unnecessarily when things felt rocky. There are some bumpy spots in a relationship that you just know will get better only once they get home. Some days phone calls don't end on a cheery note. I learned to quickly let go of any negative feelings I had after talking with my husband because I knew they were not helpful to me. I knew he was tired, worn out, sleep deprived and in a crazy environment. I knew our situation was a little abnormal. I let a lot of things roll off my back, knowing I didn't need to let them get to me.

9)I gained a greater appreciation for life and all it's blessings. Since my husband came home I have grown to love him in deep ways I had never imagined. My new found understanding of who he is, how great he is for me and the love we have together has astounded me. I feel like that one year of deployment grew our love by ten or more years. I love just seeing him, looking at his face, seeing his grin. My patience and desire to be kind have grown tenfold. I see so much more of him and have such a deeper appreciation for the wonderful man that he is. I enjoy seeing him with fresh eyes and a gentler perspective. I feel the same increased appreciation for family, daily life, and all that we've been blessed with.

10) I gained a greater sense of patriotism and appreciation for America. I appreciate more greatly the sacrifices made by military families through the generations. I am glad to be an American. I love this country. I love the overwhelming appreciation for this country that most military families have. I love patriotism and respect for the flag, our history and our founding fathers. A year of deployment taught me to appreciate these things more.

Does anyone wish for a deployment? No, not likely. While deployment is very difficult in many ways, there are things to appreciate and learn to be grateful for. It's not all miserable, horrible and terrible. It's life and like all phases of life there are things that will be hard and there are great blessings if we look for them.

Okay, your turn. What blessings did you receive during your deployment? How is your life, your relationship, your outlook better from what you learned?