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Friday nights always seemed like the hardest day of the week during deployment for me. It was easy to stay busy during the weekdays but on Friday night for some reason it always hit me that my best pal was so very far away.
Maybe it was hearing everyone talk about their weekend plans, or knowing that all my married lady friends would be busy all weekend with their husbands and kids that made it seem especially lonely. Maybe it was regret that I hadn't made plans to go do something with other people.
Most weekends of deployment, Clementine spent with her mother so I was here alone, even when she was living here and going to school. My weekends during deployment often consisted of watching TV on Friday night until late, maybe even falling asleep on our big comfortable couch. Then I would wake up Saturday morning and watch home decorating or cooking shows for a few hours while blogging or working on some other creative project. Some weekends I would find a romantic movie marathon on some cable network and watch while I worked in my pajamas right through the afternoon. If there was a movie in theaters that I wanted to see I would venture out early in the day Saturday by myself.
By evening time I would be antsy and bored to get out of the house, if I hadn't yet, and I would get dressed and find somewhere to go and wander. I would often start at a favorite Mexican take-out restaurant then hit a few stores between there and home. I might buy a couple small things we needed or splurge on a new shirt. After church on Sundays I would often straighten up the house and spend some time writing letters to my husband to mail throughout the coming week.
Looking back I wonder why I didn't try to make more plans with friends. That was one thing I planned on and expected I would do while my husband was gone. Even though the weekends often felt deeply lonely, I found I usually preferred the quiet of being alone for so many hours. I needed the physical rest and to slow down. It helped me recharge my batteries and take time to think about things that I love and are important to me in all parts of my life. It was time to exercise my creativity, to listen to my soul and give attention to my life.
The ebb and flow of deployment is so individual to the person experiencing it. How did you like to spend your weekends? What day was the hardest for you?
My husband hasn't deployed quite yet, but he has trained away from home for weeks and months at a time. I tend to prefer the time alone (it recharges my batteries too :)), but I agree that I will often let too much time pass without making plans with friends. It's a tough balance! Thanks for sharing. :)
ReplyDeleteAh! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. :) I think I spent the first six months of deployment recharging my batteries. :)
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